Monday, April 10, 2006

11.


Q & A About My Depression

Let’s say there’s a night sky with stars in it, is that My Depression?

No, My Depression has no stars, but sometimes you can see My Depression at night just before it rains, when the clouds are low and bellowing and there’s nothing but an opaque, grayish, limp dark: that’s My Depression.

Is a man with a gun and a hat My Depression?

No, not unless the man is slumped in a hard chair, too tired to take off his hat, and is staring at the gun on a table, not touching it.

Is an empty room My Depression?

Perhaps, if the shutters are pulled, the curtains drawn and it’s very hot inside, so hot that you have to sit down and pant like a dog. If it’s My Depression, the floor will be uneven and filthy, and the walls will have squares of light color where paintings of flowers and elephants used to hang.

Does My Depression ever taste of lemon?

Sometimes My Depression seeps in like boiling water through an Orange Pekoe tea bag. It is a bitter, dark tea, and often you can’t see the bottom of the cup for the black swirls of it. If someone were to squeeze me very hard over the cup at that moment, then yes, maybe, My Depression would taste faintly of lemon.

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