Email me things you should have learned by now and I'll post them.

Things I should have learned by now, part deux:

by the Zombie

1. People really don't care how extensive my MP3 collection is.
2. Movie buffs are just people who can't accept that they're not capable of making their own movies.
3. I am not as attractive to homosexuals as I think I am.
4. Life is not like a porn movie.
5. It's still illegal, regardless if I get caught.
6. Pretending that I am a conneisseur of fine foods, owning numerous handheld gadgets, and claiming stakes to liking excellent movies and music does not actually compensate for not having any real redeeming qualities that girls would find attractive, nor a small penis.