Things I learned
at the Poetry Project’s
New Year’s Day Marathon

straight legged jeans are in

it’s hard to make red velvet look bad

people have no respect for my personal space

tattoos are out, faux-hawks in

music makes any poetry sound palatable

it’s cool to sip expensive liqueurs at poetry readings

poets think it’s transgressive to use the word “bitch”

Cheryl B. is funny and fantastic and not a gay man

Bjork’s sound is not unique

George W. Bush is bad

after three hours, my ass gets numb

small dogs are welcome anywhere

Porkpie hats add ten points to your sex appeal

Todd Colby makes me laugh no matter

it’s good to steal staplers from work

certain things roll like thunder

people need to wake up

I am your bitch, man

fill what is empty

conventions are bad

“raincoat” is a euphemism for “rubber”
(I’m kidding, I knew that already)