Hey kids,

Haven't been able to update lately because my phone's been cut off. For once in my life, it's the phone company's fault, and not mine for non-payment. I tried to subscribe to DSL and instead they murdered my dial tone. Then they refused to believe my dial tone was murdered, insisted I buy a new phone "just to check the line". Finally, I had to take a day off of work so two charming older and slimey men could enter... my apartment and tell me it was Verizon's fault. After they determined I was not going to sleep with them, they promised to have the phone up that day. Was it? Do bears fly in the woods when no one's there to hear them? And today, the drama continues. It's like I'm... Kafka, and I'm... mysteriously trying to get to a mysterious castle on my mystery feet.

The Good News Is: because of this, I've been going to lots of internet cafes (where I'm now). Because of all these strange computers and their viruses, 200 of my emails from last month, including student papers that I have to grade, are gone. Not deleted. It's like they never existed. Oh wait. That's not good news.

With all the ruckus about Frey, I'm thinking of writing a false memoir myself. And perhaps calling it, "Sea Sick: a false memoir".