The Beached Fiance
the last time we went to the beach
you had a cane and I started
to limp
.
my mother said, "Christine, help him"
when you were out
in the surf and I
.
said "he’s all right" (you were not)
rocks can be so sharp when you’re
barefoot like we both were
.
the next day I loved you to death, my death, and when
I woke up the "you" in you had gone I took you
to the hospital but they said you were
already broken
.
sometimes electricity can help I tried rubber banding
you to a lamp socket
but then I forgot and left you
for a few days
.
when I came back
your mouth was black your fingers singed
I was sorry
but it’s not my fault
no matter what your friends say
.
and I feed you
when I can when I remember
I have to eat, too,
you know
.
who would have thought a sea monkey so difficult
.
when I tried to bury you in the backyard
I got evicted and the police came
and padlocked the front door
and you were still inside
I tried to tell them they said call
animal control
and I said but he’s a fiance and they just shrugged
.
eventually
you went to live
with your mother who fed you tomatoes
and rice all night
after you broke all her Hummel figurines
she tried to call me
but I was disconnected
you had left no forwarding address
.
that’s all behind me now
I have a new husband and sometimes
I feel sorry
I left you in that green room
in the daycare center with your meds
on high and
.
now all you can do is macramé
and whisper to yourself
but hey, that’s life
8 comments:
I like the tense change a lot. "You"--as in the narrator of the poem-- says that this is over, but the tense keeps switching back to the present and saying otherwise. There's a lot here.
Thanks! Yeah, I wasn't sure about the tense changes. I think the "love you to death" stanza could be trimmed.
I came across your blog and just thought I'd say "hi." Congratulations on your chapbook publication! As a writer, I know how exciting that can be. Come check out my poetry at autobiotry.blogspot.com
Christine...
Like nearly everything I have read of yours I was sucked into this and loved it.
The tense change really did not jump out at me - it snuck in the first time through. I had to go back and read it a second time.
I love you
The sea monkies made me dizzy with glee.
Macramé made me snort. I think it's hilarious.
I didn't notice the tense change, which means it worked for me.
I have your book and I'm going to go read it right now.
Sea monkey I meant, singular. The big lie of my childhood.
What I really wanted to say was that the beginning half of this poem is entirely stunning. I could give you an in depth reading, I'm really good at it, but since you badgered me into responding, I won't. (I just threw that in there so you'll write a poem with a badger in it.)
These lines, especially, rocked me
the next day I loved you to death
sometimes electricity can help I tried rubber banding
you to a lamp socket
and I feed you
when I can when I remember
I have to eat, too,
you know
who would have thought a sea monkey so difficult
when I tried to bury you in the backyard
I got evicted and the police came
and padlocked the front door
and you were still inside
I tried to tell them they said call
animal control
eventually
you went to live
with your mother who fed you tomatoes
and rice all night
that’s all behind me now
I have a new husband
and whisper to yourself
but hey, that’s life
That's practically the whole damn poem. Now go forth and put badger in a poem for me, and not as a verb.
r
biotress -- thanks for the support. I will check out your blog!
Mike -- thanks! you flatter me mercilessly.
Shin Woo -- I think you're looking for love in all the wrong places.
Rebecca -- I hope you like the book! Sorry for not mentioning it, but I read yours and it's fucking fantastic! I was totally intimidated and in awe!
Oh and thanks for your comments about this poems. It gave me some ideas for rewrite (not a badger rewrite! Although I do have a poem with a bear I have to finish.)
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