The Death Card

while I was waiting for you
I let a stranger in,
he rang the buzzer at the same
time I expected you, but he was

shorter, squatter, and he
wore a blue uniform with a baseball cap --
I couldn't get a good look at his eyes,
he took all my trash away

though I begged him not to,
clung to his elbow with
all my weight, promised
obscenities into the side
of his throat, wept torch
songs into his ears

he didn't speak except
to be courteous,
called me "ma'am",
said "thank you"
but not "please"
and when he was done

my kitchen had regained its shape
there were shelves and faucets and chairs,
cups and measuring spoons and glasses
with daisies painted at the rims

the stinking bags
of rubbish that had piled above
my head, had blocked the window
and soiled the blue lace curtains

vanished like a magician's half-dollar
all wet and brown stains scrubbed away
the scent of rotten cabbage and spoiled
meat replaced with faint chemical pine

the room was so uncomplicated
so full of white clear space
I was clean, empty, desolate,
inconsolable

The Whore Store

the latex nurse's dress
buttoned all the way
hangs above the cash register,
whips in the breeze
from the open door

red plastic platforms
line the walls, one on top of the other,
goldfish stapled to the toe,
or a clear plastic heel, or sparkles
like Dorthy's on the next and the next
to last and the last, steel spikes

mounting the instep
of the heels in the glass case,
black collars in the case
with silver rings, with red rings,
and whips with large dark tassels,
with pink rubber flowers

in the middle of the floor, tropical-
colored spandex falls from hangers,
dresses held together with gold rings
at the belly-button, at the hip,
at the crotch, red shimmy skirts
with slits up the sides, up the front


purple long-sleeved shirts
with the back cut out
in the shape of a key hole, in the shape
of a goldfish bowl, in the shape of
a not-quite-heart, like a heart
sewn poorly, crooked,
like two fists tight together

______________________

Yes, I used the word heart non-ironically in a poem. Sue me! Do it!

I wrote this quickly, while waiting to have a biopsy in a Doctor's office. I wrote in an absolutely gorgeous handmade book, that was polished and bound just for me. It is shiny black leather, with my name and the image of phoenix stamped onto it. The man who gave it to me spent a long time making it, and afterwards, I hurt him quite badly.

I'm hard to live with sometimes.

You and Your Animal Teeth

You think I am so
fascinated by what
you are saying, but
I am just watching
your animal teeth,
the ragged, raw row,
stained and cracked,
your lips a reddish loveseat
not quite covering
the cannibal skeleton underneath.




I found a great new blog, via Ms. Radish, Eel Slipper. It is not related to all my cousins in California, who have the last name of Eels. Also, it has nothing to do with the above poem.

reading too many books about teaching poetry

A Few Basic Guidelines for Writing Poetry

if there isn't at least one purple flower in your poem, the reader will get nauseous

if you write your poetry in the bathtub, you might end up with better metaphors

if you haven't rewritten your poem at least 12 times, it's a pile of shit

if a poem doesn't mention the word "cock", it will never get published

if your poetry doesn't have end-rhymes, you're deficient in your education

if a poem isn't about you, it's not important

if you don't recite your poetry wearing something sparkly and/or low-cut, don't bother

if your poetry is about a self-evident truth, you must have been born before 1920

if your poem has bigger breasts than you, hide it in a shoe box in the supply closet at work

if your poetry has too many commas, or if it makes liberal use of exclamation points, you might be dead

if your poem ends up in the shape of a Christmas tree, you must be missing your mother

if you poetry mentions turkey or sliced ham, you should try eating a bigger lunch

if your poem mentions Barbie dolls or their feet, you might need professional help

if your poetry doesn't end with the word "red" or an image of the robot apocalypse, it's unreadable