Monday, April 23, 2007

Version 1.Saved

say you're lost in water

pink rocks where waves simmer
deep rose when wet

water's so cold it burns your thighs
the sand stirs, flares out

you can't quite see your feet
bare and pale
thin as Christ's

or say you're wearing boots
black rubber, filling with water
dragging you down

say your lungs tighten in the freezing air
shrink into pink popped balloons

say it starts to snow

or say you're at a party
in the deep end of the pool

in your bikini with the ruffles and the stars
the birthmark
on your left side
like a meat-colored fig

and say it's the moment the crickets start
a string of Japanese lanterns
vibrate in the breeze

faces flash red and yellow
in the deck chairs above you
and confetti
floats to your arms

party candles crowd
the ceramic edges of the pool

say your ponytail catches fire and say
you feel
a hand
on the crown of your head

say you go under and under


_____________

Version 2.

the deep end


in your bikini with the ruffles and the stars

the moment the crickets start
a string of Japanese lanterns
vibrate in the breeze

confetti
floats to your arms

party candles crowd
their ceramic edges

your ponytail catches fire

a hand
on the crown of your head

you go under and under




3 comments:

Rachel Mallino said...

Christine, I really enjoyed v.1 - but I don't know too much. =)

Christine said...

Thanks Rachel! Yeah, I'm torn. Version 1 might be better...

Joseph Gallo said...

I very much like version 1 too, but I think it isn't quite finished; something to tie it up like the small sail of a surprise at the end, something alluded to before, perhaps, to push it out into the deep end where the merry fates of poems find their course.

But what do I know? ;-)

Enjoying your work muchly, Christine.