Wednesday, July 13, 2005

How to Defend Yourself Against Alien Abduction


this tinfoil hat is not the way
gluing your feet to the bed each night
is not going to save you from the sucking
woosh
.
some say a green paint on the belly distracts them
so their machines malfunction
.
and also some books suggest smearing rotten
boysenberries at the windowsill
.
but I know substituting myself
with an identical
robot under the covers, at the breakfast table
and in front of the class room
when asked to solve
for Y
.
has worked very well for me as long as
you don't turn round and I stay right here
in the corner behind you

8 comments:

Patty said...

Just got Discount Heaven, looking forward to reading it!

Christine E. Hamm, Poet Professor Painter said...

Thanks so much Patty! I hope you like it. It's the one I'm most proud of.

Aleah Sato said...

I just bought 'Things You Can Do'...and am anxiously awaiting its arrival. You are one of my all time favorite poets. And I am a poet who dislikes other poets. LOL.

Christine E. Hamm, Poet Professor Painter said...

Thanks, Ms. Crow! So that was you. I get a little note each time somebody buys something from the website.

I'm flattered by your praise.

Radish King said...

I'm too poor to buy books but this poem kicked my ass.

Radish King said...

Specifically the glue on the feet and the boysenberries, which sound like poison berries both of which skew the poem into fairy tale status for me. I love fairy tales.

Christine E. Hamm, Poet Professor Painter said...

Rebecca -- too poor? hmm, perhaps an exchange could be arranged. A fairytale about aliens, interesting...

Radish King said...

Exchange, yes! E-mail me at rebeccadotloudonatgmaildotcom~