Anyway, I had tea today at the Plaza Hotel. It was quite swellegant, but the rich food gave me a tummy ache and I left early. Definitely not my preferred scene. You know, I'm more a lower East side kinda' gal. I sat next to the darling and vicious Yelena, who is a brillant writer and painter. And has a very pointed and forked tongue. So, amidst the rest of the company, which were mostly Christians, though (mostly) not annoyingly so, she and I spoke quite frankly about sex. She made a sex coloring book which sounds absolutely fab, and we talked about marketing ploys while I asked for advice about spicing up the scene when things are vanilla, yet satisfying, in the bedroom. Not about anyone in specific!! Geesh.

Anyway, something quite amusing and cinematic happened. Yelena likes glitzy and actually expensive jewelery, and she just happened to be wearing a dramatic and bejeweled cross. One of the Christian women who'd been sitting far away from us scooted up close and said, all friendly and crisp-like, "That's a beautiful cross. Is there a story behind it?''

Yelena paused for a moment. "Yes," she said. "My husband bought it for me and for that I was so grateful that I had wild sex with him three times." Yelena has a dramatic Russian accent, which makes everything she says sound more important than it really is.

The woman was wearing a hat with fake flowers. She retreated a bit back into the hat, like a turtle.

"Oh, and Yelena forget to add that she's Jewish," I quipped.

The woman said, "Oh yes. That's a little more information than I needed to know," and skirted quickly away.

Yelena and I gave each other a look that was the equivalent of a high five, and burst out laughing.

Yes, I know it was very immature. Very, very immature. Hee.