The Man with the Mile Wide Penis

Like Joan of Arc,
at age ten,
an Angel came down and gave him
a sword.

He was 12 when the first woman fainted
at the sight of him.

God has decreed he should share his gift,
but there are too many women
and not enough time.

With great power
comes
great responsibility.

It haunts him.
Sometimes he curses it, and weeps.
He wakes to find his sheets destroyed.
Sometimes they don't wait until he's asleep.

Women creep into the house.
His lock has been picked so many times
it hangs open, slack
like the legs of a virgin in his path.

He puts his pants on
one leg at a time
it just takes him longer.