Her Sister Started It


Billy always had the drugs
in his glove compartment

this might be the part where
they all drove to the lake after
their parents were asleep

in the car, she talked about fishing with her father
when she was five, about catching something
bright yellow and blue that he made her throw back

the twins were fighting again that day -- nothing
they said, but the looks they gave each other

without warning there was sand everywhere
her scalp, armpits, teeth and the sky was getting lighter

she remembered a bonfire out by the water and marshmallows?
or perhaps they were cooking mushrooms on a stick

a bitter taste, her tongue very very hot and then whiskey
almost sweet as if mixed with a syrup or cola

she wasn't sure who was driving on the way
home or who had his hand in her pants

she wished her sister were there, she
had more experience with situations like these

afterwards, there were bruises on her legs
she told her mother she fell off her horse

a pile of dead seagulls next to the fire,
was that the smell, the taste?
at first she wasn't sure she was awake

her cheeks were red and burned, she had kissed
someone with a beard or rubbed her face in the sand

she never remembered what happened to her ring

maybe her sister had been in the backseat,
but they never talked about it

she had pulled someone's hair and it felt good
she thinks his name was Scott, his tongue
nice, warm on her lips but like a mechanical thumb in her ear

it felt like a wrist at first, a thin hot wrist
without bones

it was so hard to tell underwater and it was so cold

her sister by the fire, flipping her black hair
over one ear and talking to the boy with the bad
sun burn

her shoulders hurt most of all the next day,
little blisters rose like domino dots

while she grabbed the orange juice her mother
came up behind her and smelled her hair,
made a disgusted noise

at one point, there was a blanket and then
there was no blanket and everyone could
see, she tried not to care

the next day she still shivered every time
she thought of his fingers

she wished her sister hadn't taken her hat

someone's window was broken
someone was saying "don't be such a baby"