How to Defend Yourself Against Alien Abduction

this tinfoil hat is not the way
        gluing your feet to the bed each night
is not going to save you from the sucking 
woosh
.
some say a green paint on the belly distracts them
       so their machines malfunction
.
and also some books suggest smearing rotten
boysenberries at the windowsill
.
but I know substituting myself 
with an identical
          robot under the covers, at the breakfast table
and in front of the class room 
when asked to solve
                    for Y
.
has worked very well for me as long as 
you don't turn round and I stay right here 
     in the corner behind you