Hunters Point, 1PM
the girl in front of me
is paying for her cheeseburger
with stripper bills, tens and fives
folded down the middle,
greasy from her thighs
her brown matted braid swings
down as her diamond-starred
fingernails untangle her cash,
wadded at the bottom of a purse
out of its gleaming depths
floats a stray napkin
white unfolding bright
struck by a breeze
from the opening door,
it rises into the street, vanishes
______
Is the last part awkward?
(This is the part of Queens that has a lot of ladies of the evening.)
2 comments:
the rhythme of the last part is awkward; if you ironed that out the poem would "look askance" nicely at the end; i like how you don't peg it down.
Thanks -- yeah, got to work on the end.
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